Showing posts with label Valentine Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Valentine Jokes. Show all posts

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Valentine Jokes Part II

Osama’s Valentine

A little boy comes home from first grade and tells his father that he learned about the history of Valentine’s Day. “As Valentine’s Day is for a Christian saint and we’re Jewish,” he asks, “will God get angry at me for giving someone a valentine?”
The father thinks for a moment and then says, “No, I don’t think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?”
“Osama Bin Laden,” the boy says.
“Why Osama ,” his father asks in disbelief.
“Well,” David says, “I thought that if a little American Jewish boy could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we’re not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he’d jump with joy. And then he’d go all over and tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn’t hate anyone anymore.”
Father’s heart swells and he looks at his son with newfound pride and joy.
“David, that’s the most wonderful thing I’ve ever heard.”
“I know,” David says, “and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines shoot him.”


Valentine Jokes Part I

Q: What do farmers give their wives on Valentine’s Day?
A: Hogs and Kisses!

Q: What did Frankenstein say to his girlfriend?
A: “Be my valenstein!”

Q: Do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day?
A: Sure, they’re very scent-imental!

Q: What does a man who loves his car do on February 14?
A: He gives it a Valenshine!

Q: Why is Valentine’s Day the best day for a celebration?
A: Because you can really party hearty!

Q: What did the cholcolate syrup say to the ice cream?
A: “I’m sweet on you!”

Q: What did the French chef give his wife for Valentine’s Day?
A: A hug and a quiche!

Q: Why should you send your sweetie a valentine?
A: Because you always heart the one you love!

Q: Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy?
A: It was Valenswine’s Day!

Q: What do you call a very small valentine?
A: A valentiny!

Q: Why did the stupid boy put clothes on the valentines he was sending?
A: Because they needed to be ad-dressed!

Q: What did the painter say to her boyfriend?
A: “I love you with all my art!”